As a longtime follower of EDM, I have to admit that some of the music that has emerged as of late is utterly terrifying.
All of a sudden this once almost exclusively underground movement has become saturated with a boatload of irritating, conventional, overplayed, and otherwise downright shameless songs. Pauly D? Paris Hilton? Damn, if someone actually believes they have talent maybe it’s time for me to quit my day Job and run for president.
Being the opinionated griper that I am, I’ve rounded up a compilation of today’s most horrifyingly tormentuous tracks. From Guetta and Calvin to Deadmau5 and Skrillex, check out the top 10 EDM songs we all love to hate.
1. Take Over Control by Afrojack ft. Eva Simons
This track needs to crawl under a rock and die already. Why, oh why do DJs still insist on playing it? It came out in 2010 and to this day, I still hear it on Sirius XM. Hello! There is a reason I pay good money for satellite radio! It’s so I don’t have to hear the overplayed drivel on Top 40 FM radio stations.
2. Antidote by Swedish House Mafia & Knife Party
Also known as “Mortal Kombat Theme Song on Crystal Meth.” Talk about an impending anxiety attack. And just when you thought your ears couldn’t bleed anymore, in come the vocals. Uh, is that Will.i.am rapping through a broken vocoder? The only remotely positive thing that happened to this song was Tommy Trash.
3. Sofi Needs a Ladder by Deadmau5
Words don’t do justice for how much I loathe this song. I’d rather be strapped in a straitjacket, forced to listen to Levels on repeat while ten screaming toddlers yanked on my hair than listen to this track. And oh, those wondrous vocals! If Ke$ha had a gremlin for a twin sister, its name would be Sofi. Do us all a favor and find a new career, sweetheart. Singing is not your forte.
4. Hello by Martin Solveig & Dragonette
I got in my car after work the other day and this song was on three separate channels. Worst. Nightmare. Ever. The most banal lyrics and monotonous beat I have ever heard. We know you just came to say hello. You’ve told us about 33 times. How many more times to do you insist on telling us?!
5. Where Them Girls At by David Guetta, Flo Rida & Nicki Minaj
Oh, Guetta. I blame you for commercializing EDM at such an unprecedented pace. I could easily name fifteen more tracks by him that I so solemnly despise, but this one just takes the cake. It’s like the three of them had a musical brainstorming session and someone said, “Hmmmm, I know! Let’s make a song that is solely designed to please beyond wasted bottle rats that could care less about what music is playing at a nightclub as long as it has a catchy beat and a half-baked chorus!”
6. We Found Love by Calvin Harris & Rihanna
Fine, I’ll admit it. When it first came out, I too fell prey to this uber popular party song. But that was then and this is now. If you actually sit down and listen to the lyrics you’ll quickly realize that it’s merely an insipid “love” song with a barely romantic catch phrase that has absolutely no meaning. Don’t even get me started on the Music Video – talk about a cheap imitation of Requiem.
7. Any Mashup of Red Hot Chili Peppers
I honestly can’t remember the last time I went to a festival or show and didn’t hear a RHCP mashup. The crowd always goes crazy and I get it, Red Hot Chili Peppers is a great band. But please, I beg you, find some different material. If I hear a synthesized version of Otherside one more time I’m going to lose my shit.
8. Internet Friends by Knife Party
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love Knife Party. They’ve created some seriously heart-stopping bangers and killer mashups, but I think we can all agree that this song has turned into extreme overkill. The epicness of this track was quickly overshadowed by the ungodly amount of times it was played in the months (make that years!) following its release.
9. Scary Monsters & Nice Sprites by Skrillex
I equate this track to being thrown onto a rollercoaster on loop after a three-day bender in Vegas. It starts off calmly then then casually throws you into a vomit-inducing tornado of fury. Call me a hater of the dubstep phenomenon all you want, but I can’t stand all but one and a half of Skrillex’s songs. The rest of them make me want to sever my eardrums with a rusty nail.
10. Levels by Avicii
Like I could leave this little gem out of the mix. Quite frankly, I could go on for hours about Avicii and how all of his songs are akin to the mind-blowing beat that is Levels, but I’ve decided to refrain. Instead, you can enjoy it here yourself:
Guest Post by Ryan Eisenacher: Contrary to the persistent popularity with the male species, Ryan is actually a female…for serious. She is the Director of Public Relations at ConcertBoom (http://www.concertboom.com), an advocate of the “Dutch Explosion” and an adversary of trap music.