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Florida Man High On MDMA Steals Boat To Be With The Swans Because “They Don’t Judge Him”

Today in ecstasy news we have a one of a kind human interest story coming to you straight from America's go to source for weird news, that weird appendage the continental US refers to as Florida. In the past we have brought you some lovely stories involving the wonder drug of MDMA including the pilot who decided it would be a good idea to fly a commercial flight rolling his face off, as well as the US Air Force private who rented out an Airbnb in England to hold a massive raid. Ecstasy and dance music do go hand in hand, it is a cultural tie that runs deep. Yet for reasons unbeknownst to us, people do decide to take a dick ton of molly in places where they probably shouldn't and this kind of stuff happens.

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He Just Wanted To Be With The Swans

Kyle Thurston a 36 year old many from Orlando, FL found himself in a bit of a situation around 4 a.m. last Friday morning. This is because Kyle was stuck on a fountain in the middle of a man made lake in Eola Park in the heart of Orlando. Kyle got himself out there after taking an undisclosed amount of MDMA and stealing a swan boat in hopes of reuniting with the majestic birds out on the water.

Eventually Kyle found himself marooned on the fountain and screamed for help until the police came and helped him out. His response to the cops when they asked why he just wanted to be with the swans?…”at least they don't judge me”. In his defense swans are pretty non judgmental birds. Kyle was arrested for theft, trespassing and probably public intoxication.

Source: Orlando Weekly


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