The Chainsmokers, known to most as ‘The Chainsmokers' are two interesting guys. I have had the pleasure of knowing them vaguely, from afar and not all too well for a while now. We go way back, way back to the spring of 2013. Times were simpler back then. Back when men were men and women were also men. The Chainsmokers were not big at all at the time and had just released their remix of Jonsi's “Around Us”. That song was great, so I started following them. Not too long after that, I posted one of their songs. I was then treated to a surprise the following day when I opened my email and there sat a message from The Chainsmokers. They thanked me for posting and then, through a crazy series of coincidences, we ended up talking about Megan Fox and the obvious stuff that comes with that. I ended up interviewing them shortly thereafter and hardly a day has gone by since where I haven't thought about them. Why tell you this backstory? Because people have mixed opinions of them. You either love or hate the Chainsmokers. I'm not going to sit here and tell you to like them, I'm just hoping that, for those of you who do dislike them, to see another side of them in this interview. During my last two years of being a random kid from Canada blogging about music, I would be hard pressed to think of two guys more open to talk to than them. Message them about any random topic and odds are they'll answer in a humorous fashion. Their personalized emails are among the best a blogger is going to receive. And even though they've grown above the need for blog support, they appreciate those who have helped them reach that point. How many artists apologize for lack of new music, even though they've released well into the double digits this year? How many people would be willing to make fun of themselves and the things they've done on a public stage, like they do in this interview? This is clearly all anecdotal but, at least from my perspective, they are relatively cool guys. Not the “douches” or “assholes” they are often referred to as.
Disclaimer: This interview is three guys talking about stuff. It is not your average interview and would probably be rated at least pg-13 had it been a full length motion picture. If you are prepared to read a bad word or two as well as ridiculously immature, adult themed material, proceed ahead and enjoy.
For those of you who want to know how they met or why they chose the name The Chainsmokers, you might want to check out one of the many other interviews they've done where those questions are all asked and answered repeatedly.
Well, I suppose we’ll start with the question on everyone’s minds. You two are hanging out in the McDonalds parking lot shirtless and sharing one soft serve ice cream cone, keeping it real as always, when you see some drunken, yet attractive young lady walk up to you. “Heyyy do you guys know where my friends are??” she says. Drew stands up, slowly licks the ice cream cone and says “how the hell would I know that you stupid idiot”. Alex gives Drew a look because he took it too far but it’s too late, she’s crying. That’s when a good ass lookin' dude walks around the corner. It was her bf and he starts getting all up in Drew’s face, calling him a sellout and telling him that “Kanye” by The Chainsmokers isn’t as deep as they think it is. How do you guys resolve this altercation?
The headbutt is a really underrated and under used move in street fighting and we are no strangers to a street fight. Also in situations like this it's A) Important to strike first or B) as in our case have a henchman with you at all times and let him do all the henching…
We’re all guys here and so we all know that two guys cannot become best friends until they have seen each other’s things. Will you, if you don’t mind, please share the story of the time you two became best friends.
Hahahahahah…. It was in San Francisco after a show, the booker only gave us one room, this is pre-selfie so we weren’t afforded the double room luxury. There was a girl, her only condition was we were not to high 5 each other after… It wasn’t our finest night but we had to carpe diem…
#Selfie is definitely up there for one of the worst songs ever made. If a situation arose in which one of you had to draw the other while they posed nude in public on the hood of a 2006 Mustang, while at the same time the person drawing shouted racially insensitive remarks to passersby and texted random numbers in their phone asking “excuse me do you give lap dances?”, who would do which and why?
Seriously this is the most ridiculous question ever…. Alex would be the painter and Drew would be on the hood… cant speak on the racism bit but Alex loves a good lap dance and is always on his phone and Drew loves to pose on hoods of mid 90s automobiles….
A lot of really stupid people look up to you guys. They admire your music, your personalities, but, most importantly, your performance on American Idol. That was truly inspirational stuff. How would you guys say that experience was? Would you do it again? Please use the word “circumcision” in your answer.
You need to understand that if the choice was performing on American Idol or playing home invasion with your mom, we would still do American Idol again… That said… it was awkward and weird just like an uncircumcised dick in a porno…
You guys are both at a house party. You’re both single, you’re both gay, and you’re both there looking for a dude in which you would like to form a long, meaningful relationship with. How would you go about making another dude fall for you and which of you is, objectively speaking, bigger?
I think you alluded to an interest in our penis size in question 2…
Yeah.. and you didn't tell me it.
…As for making anyone fall in love, the same applies for everyone, just be an asshole….
In our last interview, you guys gave me some relationship advice. I told you that my 21 year old sister had 3 cute friends that were interested in me and you guys told me to “Just sleep with the one who will be hardest first, then move down from there… cause then the next one who knows she isn’t as hot will be like ‘wow he wants to sleep with me which means I must be as hot as the hot one', which makes her feel good…”. I didn’t do that and instead developed a chronic masturbation problem. That was a crazy two months. I apologize for not taking your advice, but I am in need of some more. Sometimes during, I’ll think about Avicii. Not anything sexual, just like how cool a guy he is and how sweet his melodies are. Is this normal?
You always struck us as the stubborn type… Thing about advice is everyone asks for it and no one takes it… As for the chronic problem, you aren't alone. Since the invention of youjizz.com in collaboration with freetime things have gotten bad for us all… As for Avicii, well he is a genius, timing wise no you're not normal but at least you're not thinking about Swanky Tunes or something.
Drew, give me 3 reasons why you have the best damn hair in the world.
1) There is a radio show named after it
2) It looks this good and my haircut costs 10 bucks
3) I never wash it only condition
Tell me a funny story about your guys’ lives. Please use the word “circumcision” in the story.
Eight questions in and you've already recycled two of the same jokes… Tsk Tsk…
You're right. I'm an idiot.
As for the story.. We made a song called #selfie as a joke and it became the 5th most viewed song/video on youtube of 2014. We have no plans to make a song called Circumcision.
Alright terrible answer but let’s steer the conversation towards music for a moment. Quite frankly, a lot of your tracks are, at best, pretty good. You guys produce some great stuff. Your deep house remix of “Change” is one of my favorites. Not totally hard to pick a favorite however, cause you guys suck. Do you have any plans to make more deep house remixes in the future and why have you not made more up to this point?
Well we just do what strikes us at the time… This stuff is all circum..stantial to our settings and moods. Sometimes you want to go big and sometimes you want something more mellow. We don't set out to try and make deep house or big room house. We just make what we like and are feeling and that's it.
Back to the important stuff. Should guys have to wash their hands following every single contact they have with their genitals or are there exceptions? It seems a bit unfair really.
In general I feel like my genitals while maybe they smell, are clean as they are protected all day. Its not like my dick touched 70 door handles and elevator buttons and escalator rails.
At this point I felt as though I had touched on all the hard hitting, need to know questions, but I still had some rapid fire questions before I was going to let them off the hook.
Which fruit other than a banana, or in Drew’s case miniature banana, would you say you enjoy eating in front of women the most?
Dang, good choice. Since you guys have been on American Idol, describe the ideal, most aesthetically pleasing outfit on Ryan Seacrest.
Guy is a boss, we don't talk ill about Ryan Seacrest.
You wouldn't have been talking ill about him but no yeah I feel ya. Would you rather be inconvenienced slightly for one hour, or pay $50 and not be?
Inconvenienced for sure, we are cheap as fuck…
If a cute girl asks if she can have your pen cause she likes the color, do you give it to her?
Under no circumstance would this ever happen. Both of us were the ones in high school who always borrowed pens from anyone sitting next to us…
It was right here I realized that they don't really understand the concept of hypothetical situations. Whatever though, everybody's busy.
Soooooo, I hope you enjoyed a peek into a conversation between The Chainsmokers and I. They are cool guys. They make good music most of the time and are fun to talk to. They're not trying to cure cancer they're just a couple of buddies bringing the party across America. People should lighten up and not feel the need to take everything so seriously. Life is a lot more fun that way. For those of you who think everything we said here was completely freaking ridiculous, I agree. Feel free to yell at me about it in the comments. I'll leave you guys with the last question of the interview. Thanks for reading and remember, #Selfie is terrible, and these losers were on American Idol. Being idolized.
To wrap this up, what message would you like all the attractive women under the age of 18 in the Philippines to hear?